Will there be another?

The question I've been dreading has finally started to surface...  
Luckily recently it's been asked over the internet and I just ignore it and act like it didn't exist.
"When are you two going to start having babies?" except the second time around it is more like, "when is Kayden going to get a little brother or sister?" 

Every time I use to get popped that question after Greg and I got married I'd politely say we aren't ready yet when in reality I want to say, "when everyone stops asking that damn question!" It took awhile for Greg and I to be ready for our first little one and what I mean by that is to not be selfish anymore. At the end of the day we loved buying things for Greg's latest car {well he did} and I loved modeling. As time moved on we didn't find as much joy in those things and we wanted  to start our family. Rewind to now and we have Kayden, this cutest little man I ever met. The second time around my answer is a hell of a lot more complicated and might take a hour to explain the whole story but till I have the moment to actually sit down, write it and have the courage to hit publish. The short yet still complicated answer is we now have to wait a few years. 

It's interesting though and something I didn't really hit on in my goals I was setting for 2014 I didn't mention baby number two, but I did mention my health. Which made me wonder... Was this is something I knew wouldn't be at its best this year? Was god telling me to put my health on my vision board, cause honestly when I wrote the word down I didn't know what I was writing it for, I didn't have a gym membership or coach. 

So why was it there? 
I mean everyone says they want to be healthy but it's one thing to write it and not know why you did. I've taken it as gods sign to me that any plans I made have had concerning my health probably aren't what I expect. And they weren't

Greg and I actually planned on getting pregnant again this year and after I found out I wouldn't be it felt like everyone was now announcing they were pregnant... again. It didn't really hit me till a sweet friend who has a son around Kaydens age announced she was pregnant with her second and it would be a little girl. I was
so happy for her {still am of course} but for some reason I felt like that should have been me telling everyone the same thing, I couldn't help but cry that day. 

It's something I had gone back forth about for awhile after Kayden was born. Should we have another? can we handle it? Can I handle two? What if it's two boys? Can we afford it? Will Kayden be ok sharing the attention? What if it kills Frenchie? {she is just now warming up} What if I can't breastfeed again? Can I have a baby, Kayden and my new business? The what ifs went on and on for days and days and at the end of the day I found myself realizing it's something I really wanted but that didn't matter at the moment. 

So we will have to wait, we will have to wait two years to see what is is that's going on with me and my body. The answer could end up being a definite no the next time around but we will have to see if Kayden will get that little brother or sister in the future. For now I'm soaking up being a mama to this sweet little boy who I'm so incredibly blessed to have.





- DESIGNED BY ECLAIR DESIGNS -